Candles are lovely but...

I'll admit I'm a fan of candles at wedding ceremonies. Not lots all round the room necessarily, but a few to add a bit of atmosphere, especially when the venue is one of our lovely castles, or has a dramatic presence to it.

What is quite popular is to line the aisle with floor candles, a bit like this:

It can really add to the overall look of the room you are having your ceremony in, but here I feel I need to add a word of warning, after a wedding I conducted recently.

The couple were both very relaxed, informal people, who had a great sense of humour and I had been enjoying a bit of banter with the groom prior to the wedding. It was then that someone commented "is that something burning?" and we looked down to see the father of the groom's kilt had fallen into the glass jar on the floor and the candle inside had burnt a hole right through, about the size of an apple.

Thankfully it was low down, and round the back, but needless to say, he saw the 'hire fee' penalty flash up before his eyes and dreaded what it would cost him.

However, when I went out to say hello to the bride after she arrived, and to just warn her in advance what the burning smell was, she and her bridesmaids just started laughing - it was just the medicine she needed to get rid of those nerves. And when she walked up the aisle, and smiled at her soon to be husband, he started laughing too, and so did many of the guests. It's not a tactic I'd recommend but it fairly set a joyful mood for their wedding ceremony, and I'm sure gave some good last minute material for the speeches!

A little glamour on the Glasshouse rooftop

It was my first trip to this venue - the rooftop garden on the top of the Glasshouse beside Edinburgh's Playhouse Theatre. Right as Edinburgh was experiencing a summer heatwave, it was a perfect sunny spot for a wedding. Flora has on a beautiful silvery grey sequined dress, adding a bit of old-Hollywood style to the wedding, and the black and white theme around the garden definitely gave it a bit of glamour. 

Flora and Colin were eager to involve her children in their ceremony, making it about them all coming together as a family, so I suggested the sandmixing ceremony to them. It has definitely become a favourite of mine, especially when children are involved, and I think the end result looked amazing. Definitely something for them to keep as a reminder of their great day.

A stunning day at Archerfield House

This was my first visit to Archerfield House and I hope it's not my last. The beautiful sunny day definitely added to the atmosphere, but I have to say, I thought it was stunning. Our bride and groom, Emma and Alex, had hired the place for the weekend and so many of the guests were staying at the House that evening. 

Emma and Alex were mingling with all their guests when I arrived and then I invited everyone to take their seats for the ceremony. It gave our couple a chance to catch their breath and have a rare moment just the two of them, and then they were piped downstairs by Calum, ready to start.

It was a really nice relaxed ceremony, with lots of humour involved. The scene was set by their friend Tony who had written a fantastic poem about the two of them and being a guest at their wedding. Everyone laughed and relaxed and then we went on to share their story, with some funny twists and turns. They had both written personal vows to each other, balancing the genuine sentiment with the humour that is present in their relationship. 

And then, Emma's niece sang "Songbird" by Eva Cassidy and it was beautiful. It gave everyone a chance to reflect on their loved ones and our couple a chance to share a smile and a hug.

It was a lovely day - intimate and very personal, shared with their closest family and friends. I wish them well for a fabulous marriage.

A family coming together at the Dalmahoy

The Scottish weather has been even worse that normal, but on Saturday at the Dalmahoy Hotel, the sun was shining as Nikki walked down the aisle. This was one of the quicker planned weddings I'd done, as the couple had had to change their venue/date fairly late on and were struggling to find a celebrant. Thankfully a couple who had booked with me a year ago decided to put their wedding back a year and so I was able to step in and help Nikki and Russell.

I would usually meet a couple 2-3 months before their ceremony to plan all the details and decide on things like music, symbolic gestures, readings, vows and well wishings. But this time we met only a month before. However, they had worked hard and given a lot of thought to what they wanted their ceremony to be like which made my job so much easier. And like all the Humanist weddings I conduct, we discussed the small touches that would make it all the more personal to them. Nikki's teenage son was going to be an Usher and has also agreed to do a reading on the day.

It all came together great, and the vows they had written to each other were fantastic - a really good mix of serious and lighthearted - whether it was a little joke about watching each other's dodgy TV favourites, or which of them was the funnier one, by the time they had finished there were few guests who didn't have a tear in their eye.

At the end, they joined hands in a traditional Scottish handfasting, binding their hands together in their marriage, and then to show that twist of tradition and modern, they then walked down the aisle to "Do it again" by the Chemical Brothers!

A great fun ceremony and thank you for letting me be a part of it!

Not a dry eye at Eskmills Function Suite

I love the fact that every wedding is different. Some couples already have children together or from previous relationships, and it's lovely when we find a way to involve them in the ceremony. Thanks to Lynsey and Ross for letting me share their story...

Lynsey has a young daughter, Robyn, and together with Ross, they have a son Rocco. Both kids were involved. Wee Rocco (5) was running around play fighting with his Dad and looking rather cool in the little kilt his Dad used to wear. When Lynsey walked down the aisle, her daughter was right there as a gorgeous flowergirl. 

It's a emotional day anyway, but you could just tell how important it all was to Robyn who had a tear in her eye throughout the ceremony. However, I was really impressed with the way she took a deep breath and read out to everyone a poem that she had written herself. She got a huge round of applause from everyone, and there wasn't a dry eye in the house - including my own!

Well done to Robyn and Rocco for helping make your Mummy and Daddy's day so perfect!

A fun reading for your Humanist Wedding

Couples are often looking for readings and poems that are a little different, sometimes with a bit of humour in them. It's all about finding something that reflects your own personalities and if you are both quite laidback with a sense of humour, then why can't your ceremony be the same!

I love this one about two Dinosaurs falling in love. I've seen it done a few times now, and it works best when read by a man and women each reading the 'girl' and 'boy' parts. I've also seen it done with props!

"A Lovely Love Story" by Edward Monkton

The fierce Dinosaur was trapped inside his cage of ice. Although it was cold he was happy in there. It was, after all, his cage. Then along came the Lovely Other Dinosaur. The Lovely Other Dinosaur melted the Dinosaur’s cage with kind words and loving thoughts.


I like this Dinosaur thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. Although he is fierce he is also tender and he is funny. He is also quite clever though I will not tell him this for now.

I like this Lovely Other Dinosaur, thought the Dinosaur. She is beautiful and she is different and she smells so nice. She is also a free spirit which is a quality I much admire in a dinosaur.

But he can be so distant and so peculiar at times, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. He is also overly fond of things. Are all Dinosaurs so overly fond of things? 

But her mind skips from here to there so quickly thought the Dinosaur. She is also uncommonly keen on shopping. Are all Lovely Other Dinosaurs so uncommonly keen on shopping? 

I will forgive his peculiarity and his concern for things, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. For they are part of what makes him a richly charactered individual.

I will forgive her skipping mind and her fondness for shopping, thought the Dinosaur. For she fills our life with beautiful thoughts and wonderful surprises. Besides, I am not unkeen on shopping either.

Now the Dinosaur and the Lovely Other Dinosaur are old. Look at them. Together they stand on the hill telling each other stories and feeling the warmth of the sun on their backs.

And that, my friends, is how it is with love. Let us all be Dinosaurs and Lovely Other Dinosaurs together.

For the sun is warm. And the world is a beautiful place.

Shieldhill Castle Hotel - our venue

Back in 2007 my husband and I got married on a beautiful September day at Shieldhill Castle in Biggar. Sadly the venue closed around 18 months later and we were disappointed not to have had a chance to return.

So we were thrilled when it reopened its doors in Spring 2012 and we took the opportunity to book back into the honeymoon suite for our 5th anniversary. It was fantastic to go back - we looked inside the chapel room where we'd had our Humanist ceremony, conducted by Tim Maguire, and stood in the spot where we'd had our first dance.

It felt a little indulgent, but when an offer came up on one of the discount sites to go back again for a DB&B deal, we grabbed it, and went back this past weekend. This time we took our 19month old daughter, Ailsa. While she's of course too young to appreciate it all, it was nice to be able to take her there and she had great fun taking her dolly for a walk in the grounds.

I must admit, it would be lovely to return as a celebrant and conduct someone else's wedding in this wonderful place that has such a special meaning for me... one day hopefully!

MacDonald Cardrona Hotel

Spring may be a little late this year, but the wedding season is already in full throw, and I was delighted to head down to Peebles on Saturday to conduct Claire and Gareth's wedding at the Cardrona Hotel. 

It's a lovely setting, with beautiful views out across the golf course towards the hills. There had been some snow and patches of it were scattered across the dunes and up the slopes which just made the view stunning.

It was an emotional ceremony - the groom was doing pretty well until the bride walked down the aisle with happy tears in her eyes. But they both did a fantastic job and gave their personal vows to each other before being declared Husband and Wife. 

They had also chosen to include the symbolic gesture of the Quaich in their ceremony. If you're not familiar with this, it's a Scottish two-handled silver dish shaped drinking bowl. It's know as the Scottish Cup of Friendship as you need to use both hands to hold it, which means you can't be hiding anything behind your back. This was used by Clansmen of the past to share a drink with another Clan and make a gesture of friendship and trust. Not bad sentiments for a husband and wife either!

And as everyone stood to give our couple an Irish Blessing at the end, the sun was shining on this chilly March day, and everyone headed outside to enjoy the views (and a wee glass of bubbly!)

With thanks to their photographer Jill for providing the image:
Photography © Jill Porter 2013
www.jillcherryporterphotography.com 
www.facebook.com/cherryphotography

"On Your Wedding Day" by Jennifer Leese

There are hundreds of fantastic poems and readings that you can choose to have in your wedding ceremony. It's important to make sure you have permission to use them from the author or their estate, but many are happy to have their works included as long as you mention their name.

I have lots of favourites and will post some of these over coming weeks, but first has to be the one we had at our own wedding - "On Your Wedding Day" by Jennifer Leese. It's a lovely poem, simple, heartfelt without being too gushy, and does really well as an early reading to set the scene for your ceremony.

Today is a day you will always remember

The greatest in anyone’s life;

You’ll start off the day just two people in love

And end it as husband and wife.

                                                  

It’s a brand new beginning, the start of a journey

With moments to cherish and treasure,

And though there’ll be times when you both disagree

They’ll surely be outweighed by pleasure.

You’ve heard many words of advice in the past

When the secrets of marriage were spoken,

But you’ll find that the answers lie hidden inside

Where the bond of true love lies unbroken.

So live happy forever as lovers and friends

It’s the dawn of a new life for you;

As you stand there together with love in your eyes

From the moment you answer “I do”.

With luck, all your hopes and your dreams can be real

May success find its way to your hearts;

Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys,

But today is the day it all starts.

Sand mixing symbolic gesture

Many couples are looking for ways to personalise their ceremony and make it a little different, while still maintaining the  sense of a traditional wedding ceremony. There's many options available and couples often come up with new ideas that reflect their interests.

It's great sitting down with couples and discussing ideas. I do of course have my own favourites. At my wedding we did the handfasting so it always has a special relevance for me, but over the last year I've had more couples express an interest in performing a sand ceremony, and I've grown to love doing it at ceremonies.

You choose two different coloured sands (IKEA is a great source for finding what you need) - one colour for each of you. On the day of your wedding, you choose a glass jar/bottle with a stopper, and both of you take it in turns to pour your sand in. It takes a few minutes but the guests are usually intrigued by what the end result might be. Once we've finished, we hopefully end up with something like this...

The third colour of sand in this picture was to include their child in the ceremony - so it wasn't just about our couple coming together, but all three of them joining as a family. 

And the symbolism... you can still see the different colours. Getting married hasn't stopped our couple still having their own individuality. But the sands can never again be separated, just like our couple (and their child).

My First Blog!

It's always a great event, attending the annual Gathering of the Humanist Society of Scotland, catching up with other celebrants. While there is of course the obvious practical business we have to get through, like internal elections, there is also lots of time for sharing ideas and experiences, and learning new skills that can help us in our work. 

I decided to sign up to the discussion on writing a blog... and so here I am. I have to give massive thanks to Juliet Wilson (http://humanistweddings.blogspot.co.uk/) for a really helpful and motivating session. 

And so hopefully this blog will be a great way to share ideas on Humanist Weddings in Scotland, whether it's a lovely reading I hear, symbolic gestures that couples have, wonderful venues I get to visit and the amazing couples I have the priviledge to marry!

If you ever want to get in touch directly, I can be reached at louise.young@humanism-scotland.org.uk